Saturday, November 10, 2018

To Lose A Precious Friend...

2018 hasn't been the best of years for me. It happens, everybody has to go through heartache in life it seems to be a requirement.

Relationship breakdowns are never easy regardless of the reasons...I am one of the unfortunate people who take a while to get over things, but then that's just me.

The shock of very nearly losing Jan one of my closest friends scared me witless, happily she is recovering, slowly.

To now lose another close friend has saddened me beyond words..

My lovely genuine Kind Wizard has died, I can't quite get my head around just how quickly he has been taken from us due to that dreaded disease, cancer.

He shielded me from it for such a long time, as was his way. He didn't want his close friends knowing just how bad it really was to save us the heartache I guess. What a kind thing to do, but then that was him all over.

He was the kindest most genuine person you could ever wish to meet and I am honoured to have known him, my only regret was I hadn't met him earlier in life. Jerry was the kind of friend everybody should have but not everybody is as lucky as me and I never took that fact for granted.

There are very few people who know me inside out and what makes me tick, in fact, I don't think anybody knew me as well as he did, because he took the time to get to the bottom of this loose cannonball, who very rarely knows her arse from her elbow a lot of the time, he seemed to get how my crazy mind worked. He just knew when I needed his support when going through tough times and he would be there unconditionally as I know he was for his family and other close friends. What made this even more special for me was he didn't make friends easily, a fact he told me himself. I have no idea why but we became firm friends over the years and it was comfortable, it was a safe place for me, I knew he would never judge regardless what situation I got myself into, and believe me we went through a lot of those situations.

Every time I lost my way for whatever reason he would be there. His emails were a constant source of reassurance a constant reminder that I was nuts but not a bad person just a crazy mixed up one, he got that, he got me. He could send an email that consisted of one sentence which would tell me all I needed to know, another person would have to write a page to get the same message across but he just had that special gift. He told it as it was, straight to the point no frills and I loved him for that.

We had a special bond and it was lovely. He hated it when I was sad and he would be here like a shot to sort my head out and he did on so many occasions I will truly,truly miss him for that.

We shared a wicked sense of humour too, we laughed at the daftest things. I would wind him up mercifully for being an Ebay Junkie, he was a sod for ordering the most diverse things off there, so random it would boggle my mind and made me giggle on many occasions, it got that way that nothing he ordered would surprise me in the end! Just like his one sentence emails that would arrive at the oddest of times and would make me laugh out loud and wonder what planet he was on that particular day!! We both had that in common I am quite often on another planet, hard for people to grasp but Jerry did.

He was the most eccentric person I knew and it was great, he fascinated me the way his mind worked, he would delve into history and try and make sense of it all. We had lots of conversations about that, a lot of which I didn't understand but he would explain in a way to make it easier to get where he was coming from, he was passionate about the things he looked into.

The closeness he had with his family was a pleasure to behold and I was very honoured to be included for meals with them, always great company and I was always made to feel they really wanted me there. Such a lovely bunch of people so easy to get on with and very genuine which can be a rarity in this world.

As sad as I am at losing this lovely friend their sadness must be off the scale, Jerry was such a huge part in their lives and I know wholeheartedly how much they will miss him. They will have so many lovely memories of him enough to last many lifetimes but he will be missed every day. I hope in time,  the memories will make them smile rather than cry, I hope that for me too. I know for a fact Jerry would only ever want us all to be ok and happy.

So, to precious memories of Jerry that will always bring a smile to my face.
The very first time we met, a first date so to speak. He invited me to join him and his family for their regular Sunday lunch get together. Who does that?? On a first date!! Jerry did and it was such a lovely day. He told me afterwards that he was impressed I was happy to just jump in feet first and meet them all. It was well worth jumping in feet first, it was an absolute pleasure to meet them all!

The way his glasses were always perched on the end of his nose, I could never fathom how he did that without them slipping off!
His long white hair that got him the Wizard name!
His long black leather coat that he loved and actually suited too!
His legendary emails, all of which I still have and I will read often to remind me of the daft conversations we had and often in-depth ones too.

The way he magically saved all my photos off my old laptop that just died, I thought all my precious photos had gone forever but he saved them all!

He downloaded every episode of Game Of Thrones and sent them to me on usb sticks. I will forever blame him for my obsession with that series. I loved it!

The time we all went out on the boat Jerry, Carole Tina and I. we had a lovely meal at the Ship Inn but stayed far too long and had to sail back in the pitch dark! Jerry came to the rescue by standing on the front deck with a 99p torch from Home Bargains. He saved the day and saved Tickety Boo's bow getting scraped along the bridge walls we had to go under in the darkness! I can still see him standing there holding this tiny torch!! A hero!

The day Jerry decided he liked the idea of living on a boat so bought one! It was a yacht. I thought he was mad, and he was for buying it!!I remember going to see it and just turning to him and saying, ''yep you're mad'' he just gave me a smirk and we laughed. He pretty soon came to his senses and decided on a Narrowboat he named it Choo Choo because he said it reminded him of a railway carriage!! He needed help sailing it to his home mooring I was more than happy to help. We set off and all was going swimmingly until we reached the bottom of the Wigan flight only to find we had something mammoth wrapped around the prop. It turned out it was a tyre, the worst thing ever to have wrapped. It took another boater hours to cut it away by which time we just had to leave the boat there. I think Matt, Jerrys Son took it the rest of the way.
Jerry never ever let me live that down, he would remind me of it at every opportunity much to his amusement! He would say I went out of my way to go over that damn tyre!

Ironically it turned out that Choo Choo was originally Bally Bunion that belonged to another friend of mine. We hadn't realised at the time as somebody else had bought it and then Jerry bought it off them by which time it had changed colour and layout. It was only when Jerry was going through photos of mine that he recognised a photo I had of Bally Bunion, such a huge coincidence!!

I will always remember the first time we met. It was a date through a dating site. We hit it off immediately and did lots of laughing and chatting, something we carried on doing over the years. There was never anything romantic about us but the love was there through friendship and it was a genuine love a comfortable feeling between two people who knew they could be 100% themselves and talk about anything, more importantly, we both knew we were just there and always would be.
I never ever imagined there would be a day that he wouldn't be..

I also remember you inviting me to your house!! I was gobsmacked. I vividly remember saying to you it was like stepping into an ebay warehouse which you thought was really funny...you then got your narrowboat which was just a smaller ebay warehouse by all accounts!

It's funny that Jerry was the first person I turned to when my relationship broke down, probably because I knew his support would be a great help and it was. His reassurance that everything would be ok was a huge comfort and he continued to give that support even while he was ill. I feel saddened that I didn't know until recently just how ill he was. He did eventually tell me which I am so glad about because he wanted me to know when the time was ready. The swiftness of him passing so soon after he told me has been a complete shock. I am so happy his lovely little family were with him, they assured me it was peaceful so you couldn't really wish for more than that.

 The only thing I do wish for with all my heart is that you were still here, but one thing I do know for a fact is that there are not many people who leave this world who have had such a huge impact on peoples lives like you did! When I say you were special that doesn't even begin to cover it. You were on a par with my Grandad Jack which is the best compliment I can give you, he too was very special. You were one in a million. The people who were in your life were truly honoured to have known you I certainly was!

One of the last times we met you came to visit we spent the whole day together. You knew I was in such a bad place. We sat on the back deck in the sunshine and I talked you listened. We then drove into Southport and had a lovely meal together we chatted laughed and put the world to rights. I remember that day saying something to you that made you really laugh, you know a real belly laugh and it was lovely. When you left you gave me the biggest tightest hug ever. You will never know how much your support meant that day...then again maybe you did, you knew me well. I will cherish the memory of that hug, one of many. Little did I know it would be the last so I am happy it sticks in my mind as much as it does.

You took a photo of me once it was the funniest photo ever, you teased me that you would make it public, we laughed a lot about that, but kindly you never did! It was the day we went to see your impulse buy yacht, you took a photo just as the wind caught my hair and I pulled a face. You loved it I didn't!!

My pledge to your memory is to do my best to be the happy person you wanted me to be.
The strength you gave me when I was at my worst is a strength I will carry with me in your memory.
Thank you.

               You crazy, lovely funny Kind wizard. I will miss you always.

    Heaven help them if there is an Ebay up there!! xxx



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